News Item
The local constabularly have been wasting time learning Polish phrases to deal with the influx of "workers". Really they just need to know "your nicked" in a variety of East European languages to get by.
"Yur nickedski" will probably do most of the time.
Getting Mugged In Littlehampton
Whilst generally preferring not to get mugged at all, they feel that it seems particularly worse that these people have traveled from far and wide to target our elderly and be criminals here and that it is an even worse insult to be cursed in a language they can't understand. People have only just got used to be insulted in Portuguese.
Drugs: Did You Know.....
There are more drugs in South Terrace than all the Boots distribution depots across the UK - and you can get them 24/7!
Expansion & Shortages
Crime is a flourishing industry in Littlehampton and east European migrants have rushed here to help out.
A survey of the local senior citizens revealed that if they have to get mugged in the town, then they prefer it not to be by Russian, Polish, Lithuanian, Croats or any of the other myriad East European scroungers, yobs or other criminal types.
